Okay, I was not so good at this blog thing after all. But, hopefully since school is out and my little sister is doing the diet blog thing with me, I will remember to blog!

So, since starting WW I have lost roughly 20 lbs. This makes 30 olbs total since December, where I was huge! Like, seriously.  I have a pic...

Yea, that is me in the purple....pretty bad!

But this is a pic my boyfriend took of me the other day. It is candid, so once again not such a great pic, but honest!

30 pounds has made a huge difference. I cannot wait to get more off. I want to lose another 40 before I student teach in September. I think with it being Summer it will be a lot easier. By the way, that is my crazy kiddo on the horse. She keeps me on my toes, too.

So, I have run into a problem. I actually gained a pound last week and barely lost one in the past few weeks. Easter killed my diet. Ever since then I cannot get back on track. Yesterday and today was better. I give credit to my sis who is on it, too. Well, on her own diet, not WW. But, that has recharged something in me. I am also done with school so I am not distracted by final projects and chugging Monsters or Redbull until the wee hours of the night.

I am going to get back on this.  I am going to start blogging again. I have 3.5 months to lose 40 pounds. Can I do it? Well, I sure am going to try!

I will be out of plus sizes! 
I will not be the teacher who knocks stuff off of student's desks with her ass.
I will be getting pictures done with me girl on her 3rd bday.
I will feel great walking across the stage when i graduate.
I will feel beautiful up next to the "pretty ones" better known as my cousins during Christmas next year.

Not-so-Fat-Tuesday

So I am in the middle of my spring break this week, so I am taking on more tasks for my household. Most breaks I get I will get a lot done, scrubbing the walls up and down and hauling out bags of trash from each room. I love doing it because it is nice to have the house clean for a little while and I am in love with getting rid of junk!

However, this is my first Spring break with a 2 year old and she is BUSY! She attacks the cats, she attacks rolls of toilet paper, she screams like a banshee, etc etc....

So that has been the most of my day, chasing around a 2 year old and picking up scraps of cat and toilet paper and whatever else she can get her hands on while holding her down to wipe her face. I did manage to go to the store today, where I shopped for "diet food". Rather than cokes and chips and pizzas I picked up fresh produce, lean meats, light dairy, and anything else. I spent the afternoon figuring out the points and writing the values on the package, then later that night made a delicious lean meal with chicken breast, salad, roasted broccoli, and pasta salad (only 4 points a serving!).  I am already noticing a difference in myself, even in just the few days. And, although I did take the BEST nap EVER this afternoon, I am still not as tired as I have been. I was a sloth there for a bit and always grumpy. Now I am finding myself getting organized again and just having more energy. I am also making myself go to bed early this week, too, rather than wasting time at night on the internet. I have 8 more weeks of the last semester before I student teach and I need to make sure I give it my best.

I forgot how great of a diet Weight Watchers is. It really is the best diet out there, especially since now fruits and most veggies are free. I am stuffing myself with those because they do not count, and am now falling back in love with them! I used to eat nothing but fruits and veggies when I was young and hit puberty and that went out the window!! I used to be so active, too, and I want to fall back in love with that, too. I am making a goal for myself. I want to be active again, especially as Emmerson is getting older and will be involved in activities in a few years. I miss it, honestly. I cannot wait for the sunshine to come back so I can spend more time outside with Emmerson. I am ready for morning walks to the park. I am also joining the Y with one of my best girlfriends. I cannot wait to smell the pool again and to catch my breath after laps.

The Big-inning

I have battled with dieting for so many years now. I have carb dieted, counted calories, and been on Weight Watchers so many times just since graduating high school. I have had success getting the weight off, sometimes 20 pounds and sometimes 40-50 pounds, but never did I keep it off, and I always managed to gain back a few extra.

At the beginning of 2011 I decided to go on a diet. I was ready because I was bigger than I had ever been, even when I was about to pop out my daughter, Emmerson. I worked out a lot, counted all of my calories, and watched the pounds come off. I ended up getting my tonsils out at the end of January and there were a couple weeks were I barely ate. I dropped a lot of weight then and was feeling great about myself when I got all heeled up. But, true to form, I was able to eat again, so I did....and gained most of my weight back.

My sister and her girlfriend joined Weight Watchers just over a month ago and one night we were all talking about how great it is. My mom decided she would support me in doing it, as long as I played secretary and helped her track points so that she could do it, too. The deal was, I would go to the meetings and bring home all of the goodies and information and help her with it, and she would pay for it. I have been wanted to go back on Weight Watchers for years now, but I cannot bring myself to pay for something like that when 40 bucks a month could buy diapers. But, my mom, who always supports me, is helping me out.

I went to my first meeting on Saturday and I told myself that this time it will be different. I began compiling a list of reasons why I need to take the weight off.

• I can feel my stomach constantly. It is huge and flabby and droopy and NOTHING I wear conceals it. It has to go, soon.
• I cannot stand getting my picture taken now because I am scared of seeing it and getting that miserable feeling where I hate myself for days because of how I look.
• I student teach (FINALLY) in the Fall and I want to feel my best while I do it.
• I can feel my CHIN on my neck. Seriously....that is gross.
• I know that I can feel and look good, this fat is just covering all of that up.
• I am involved in 3 weddings in the next year and a half and I have to look better than the brides, duh! ;)
• When I see people out somewhere I hide my face so the don't notice me. Not because I do not want to chit chat because I find any excuse for a long conversation. I hide because I am ashamed of myself. I do  not like how I look, and though I was never thin and gorgeous, I let a lot of myself go and I want that back. 

Those are just some of the reasons I am doing this. I do not want this to come off as a pity party because I do not need pity, I just want support and encouragement from whoever decides to follow my blog. And, even if I am the only person who ends up reading this, I will have a journal of my thoughts and hopes and hopefully will stay on task.

This is me now....

Me and one of my best friends in the world, Janon. I was even wearing Spanx...annnnd that was after losing the weight this year.

I know I will never be a supermodel or a size 0. I don't want to be, either. I just want to feel comfortable and fabulous. I want to be proud of myself rather than ashamed. From here on out, I will be. I am doing this not only for myself, but for my little girl, Emmerson, who will now have a confident mother walking by her side.